Animal/Insect Haiku
Scorpion bites won’t make you itch
Scorpion bites will hurt like a bitch
A cow will eat grass, it likes to chew.
It doesn’t smoke it like you do
deer are very prone to frights
Naked are their eyes when caught in headlights.
Ants are industrious day and night
Black ones are mild, Red ones will bite
Beetles roasting on an open flame?
Marshmallow for me just the same.
Locusts must taste very bad,
I imagine they’re like some yam I’ve had
Gators like people inside their hides
People like gators on their hides
Lupine howls will echo never
Then why on earth must people’s ever
Whales are magnificent, I hope
No more will turn into bars of soap
An ostrich when dealt a bad hand
Will bury its head deep in the sand
Geese-down quilts are soft and loose
Yet I prefer snuggling with a goose.
Scorpion bites will hurt like a bitch
A cow will eat grass, it likes to chew.
It doesn’t smoke it like you do
deer are very prone to frights
Naked are their eyes when caught in headlights.
Ants are industrious day and night
Black ones are mild, Red ones will bite
Beetles roasting on an open flame?
Marshmallow for me just the same.
Locusts must taste very bad,
I imagine they’re like some yam I’ve had
Gators like people inside their hides
People like gators on their hides
Lupine howls will echo never
Then why on earth must people’s ever
Whales are magnificent, I hope
No more will turn into bars of soap
An ostrich when dealt a bad hand
Will bury its head deep in the sand
Geese-down quilts are soft and loose
Yet I prefer snuggling with a goose.
posted by Ostrich at 9:33 PM
14 Comments:
Nice idea. Umm ... if I may make some suggestions?
Deer .. frights / their eyes naked in the headlights
Gators enjoy people inside / people still wear gator hide
Whales are magnificent FULL STOP I hope / they'll not form bars of soap (Is whale oil used in soap?)
And two Nasheries that you may have read ... The ant has made himself illustrious / through constant industry industrious / So what? Would YOU be calm and placid / if you were full of formis acid?
And (cf: your goose)... I think that I shall never see / a bill-board lovely as a tree / Indeed, unless the bill-boards fall / I shall never see a tree at all!
Cheers
J.A.P.
Have read the nash, formic acid you mean! And thanks for the suggestions. These came off the top of my noggin really. Perhaps i should have taken more care. nd yes, whale blubber used to go into very expensive beauty soap, apart from other things
And the reason i've placed them the way they are is because i had to make 17 syllables! Otehrwise they won't be haiku!
The closest I have to anything like this on my blog is my Garbage Man song. Or I guess the Blogger Goes To Hell poem, but it's so short it hardly counts.
Your profile lists among your interestes "Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow"
I realize Ritchie is a great guitar player, but did he actually rename Rainbow to "Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow" or were you just being specific about what you like most about the band?
I didn't spot the haiku connection (I know it's in the title - doh) because I guess haikus don't usually rhyme.
It's a lovely poem - I really like it. I think I'd do a bit more work on it if I were you - it would be worth it. I think I'd either make it rhyming couplets and forget about the haiku - or - make it haiku and forget about the rhymes. Then you can get the more clunky bits to work.
XXX
I think when RB left Deep Purple he called his new band Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow. That was the name of the first album. I think when he reformed the band later on he just called it Rainbow. I'm not 100 per cent sure.
I prefer Deep Purple.
It is Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow. All the album sleeves say so. I guess it just gets shortened in conversation and so on. You're right Roger, will look into neatening this out a bit. Thanks. *Hug*
Aren't Haikus supposed to be in 5, 7, 5?
I guess like Roger said you should chuck the Haiku funda and make em couplets...they're quite funny! Pretty Nashesque!
nice, sammy. but, yeah, the 5-7-5 is true. but hey! now you can get rid of the syllable thing and just write couplets.
Oh! I had no idea about the 5-7-5 meter. DAMN YOU! Soporific english professor who made even John Donne seem like a boring epistollary poet. Damn your eyes like murky pools, lips like rotten plums, and nose like a vulture's grin :-)
Ah, the tyranny of form.
Nice couplets, though.
I like the challenge of form. Yes, typically a haiku is arranged in three lines, 5, 7, 5.
If you visit the American Haiku Society, tho' - you'll see that the form doesn't seem to worry them - they think a haiku is just a short poem. Americans, eh?
Ideally the haiku would also mention the season in which it was written.
This is the first poem I ever had published.
When I write haiku
I always seem to have one
Syllable left o
ver.
I realise that my work here has been a little MAD! But i agree with you Roger, that form is more challenging. It's harder to be creative and refreshing in a box, and that's why more interesting. The way i see it, as art evolves, the perimeter of that box slowly gets wider and wider to include more mediums, material and so on to play with.
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